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What's your favorite CLEAN joke???
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emcall
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Messages: 352 , Offline
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, it's Thursday."
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer!"



Remind you of anyone we all know here at iWin??  

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at Wed, 18 Jul 2012 18:10

Zombing
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Messages: 62 , Offline
Cleanish??

A man goes to a doctor and says he has a problem.
The doctor asks: Can you see all right?
Yes, the man answers.
Ears fine? continues the doctor.
Yes
Heart?
No problems.
Digestion.
OK.
Bowels?
Regular as clockwork at 7.00am every morning.
So, asks the mystified doctor, what's the problem?
I get up at 8, says the man.
 
cathysfree
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Messages: 114 , Offline
My grandson's favorite "knock-knock" joke

Knock-knock

Who's there?

Olive

Olive who?

Olive YOU!!

Enjoyed everyone's jokes HAGD!!
 
jewelicious
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Messages: 161 , Offline
Jane says to Tarzan "Go Out and get something for dinner." So Tarzan grabs his sac and grabs his vine and goes swinging through the jungle. He spies some birds and swoops down on them and throws them in his sac. Soon after he spies some monkies and does the same. Proud, he swings back home to Jane and triumphantly opens his sac and lets its contents fall out. Jane with a grimace on her face replies "Oh Tarzan Finch and Chimps again!"  
Mmizzell
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Messages: 143 , Offline
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and
keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, "For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!"
 
cbjarrett
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Messages: 24 , Offline
Here's one for all you bunny rabbit lovers. . . . . .

How do you catch a sneaky rabbit?

(You neak up on it)

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

(Tame way)

always gave me a grin anyway.....  
jewelicious
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Messages: 161 , Offline
Here's one for cbjarrett.
What's invisible and smells like carrots?
Bunny farts.  
puzzlfrk53
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Messages: 105 , Offline
Probably my favorite joke of all time was told to me by my youngest son, when he was in kindergarten:

Which way does a sneeze point?

ACHOO!  

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at Thu, 17 Sep 2009 14:25

sumchik83
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Messages: 64 , Offline
Billy Graham is on his way to a crusade and he is getting into a limosine. He says to the limo driver, "Hey, you think I could drive? I've always wanted to drive a limo and wear the chaeffer's hat." The limo driver thinks Well, it is Billy Graham. I don't see why not. So the limo driver hops in the back and Billy Graham puts on the chaeffer's hat and starts driving. He's so excited that he doesn't pay attention to his speed. A policeman pulls him over for speeding and walks up to the limo. The officer thinks to himself, this looks like Billy Graham. He asks for the driver's license and realizes it is Billy Graham. He says he'll be right back and gets on the radio in his car and talks to his captain. He asks for permission to waive the ticket because it's someone really big. The captain asks how big, is he bigger than the Pope? The officer says yes, he's bigger than the Pope. The captain asks, "Is he bigger than the President of the United States?" The officer says yes, he's bigger than the President. Then the captain asks, "Who could possibly be bigger than the President?" The officer replies, "I think it must be GOD because Billy Graham's the chaeffer!  
marykruger
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Messages: 258 , Offline
sumchik83 wrote:Billy Graham is on his way to a crusade and he is getting into a limosine. He says to the limo driver, "Hey, you think I could drive? I've always wanted to drive a limo and wear the chaeffer's hat." The limo driver thinks Well, it is Billy Graham. I don't see why not. So the limo driver hops in the back and Billy Graham puts on the chaeffer's hat and starts driving. He's so excited that he doesn't pay attention to his speed. A policeman pulls him over for speeding and walks up to the limo. The officer thinks to himself, this looks like Billy Graham. He asks for the driver's license and realizes it is Billy Graham. He says he'll be right back and gets on the radio in his car and talks to his captain. He asks for permission to waive the ticket because it's someone really big. The captain asks how big, is he bigger than the Pope? The officer says yes, he's bigger than the Pope. The captain asks, "Is he bigger than the President of the United States?" The officer says yes, he's bigger than the President. Then the captain asks, "Who could possibly be bigger than the President?" The officer replies, "I think it must be GOD because Billy Graham's the chaeffer!

I just voted and this joke wins, at least for me. I enjoyed them all. Better than most of the jokes I get in e-mail.  
ppineapple
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Messages: 331 , Offline
Here is a puzzle here, for a challenge:

Islands
Ambyss
Mountain
Branch
Aero
Canyon
Kangaroo
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you solve it?
HINT: Look at the letters going up to down!  
maestroclique
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Messages: 11 , Offline
You have an Internet addiction when :

Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.

You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.

You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.

All of your friends have an @ in their names.

Your dog has its own home page.

Your dog's homepage is actually good.

You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.

You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.

The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.

Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.

Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.  
sophidia
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Messages: 437 , Offline
007ofnine wrote:Here's a non-religious joke. I can tell this one cos I'm Scots-Irish.

Q: Where do they get copper wire?
A: Two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.


funny, I have heard the same joke. 2 dutch fighting over a quarter told by people from belgium
there seem to be more nationalities percieved as thrifty
But most of the 'dumb' jokes seem to be international always about blond femals

I got this one from a friend, I think it is funny and I think I can tell it here for I am blond at the moment
A blond wanted to go ice fishing.She had studied a lot of books on the subject.
And when she bought all the all the necessary items. She went for it.
After positioning her footstool, She started to make a circulair cut in the ice with the special saw.
Suddenly from above a voice boomed THERE IS NO FISH HERE
Startled She packed all her stuff together and moved to another spot on the ice.
And began to cut a new hole in the ice. Again from above came that frigtning voice THERE is no FISH HERE.
Quite worried she moved all her stuff to the opposite end of the ice.But when she took the ice saw
Again that bellowing voice THERE IS NO FISH HERE
Shivering she looked up "Is that you talking to me My lord?" The voice answered: No girly, I am the manager of the ice rink


 

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at Sun, 20 Sep 2009 04:33

007ofnine
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Messages: 468 , Offline
Here's another one, but it only works in Bakersfield. First, I have to explain that two of the major streets here are Chester Ave. and Union Ave. Union was once Highway 99 and is still the truck route for 99. As a result, most of the prostitution here is on Union Ave.

So, the joke:

Q: Why did all the hookers move to Chester?
A: They wanted to go non-Union!
 
emcall
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Messages: 352 , Offline
A social worker from the big city recently transferred to a rural mountain region, looking forward to the change of scenery and meeting new people.
On her first tour of the new territory, she came across a cabin much smaller than she had expected to find in these vast open spaces.
Accustomed to small studio apartments in the big city, she had always pictured mountain cabins as spacious and homey.
Not wanting to appear judgmental, and wanting to make a good first impression, she shook off the surprise and knocked on the door.

"Anybody home?" she asked.

"Yep, I'm here." came a child's voice from inside.

She told the child who she was and asked if she could speak to his mother.

"She ain't here." came back the reply.

So she asked to speak to his father.

"He ain't here, neither." said the little boy.

"Well, is there anyone else here with you that I could speak with?", asked the social worker.

"Nope, just me."

Concerned for the boy's safety, she asked "Do they leave you alone very often? Don't you spend time together as a family?"

"Well, shore we do. Just not out here in the outhouse. It's a one-seater."
 

This message was edited 4 times. Last update was at Sun, 20 Sep 2009 17:09

momaie
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Messages: 2451 , Offline
Got this one off a website I go to for a daily laugh...

Last week, Vicky, a distraught wife went to the local police station in Wigan, Lancashire, along with her next-door neighbour, Pauline, to report that her husband was missing.

The policeman asked for a description of the missing man.

Vicky described him clearly and in detail, 'He is 35 years old, 6ft 4inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is softly-spoken and is fabulous with the children.

Pauline interrupts her protesting, 'Why Vicky, your husband is 5 ft 8 inches, corpulent, bald, has a big mouth, and is horrid to your children.

Vicky replied, with a sigh, 'Yes, but who wants HIM back?'  
momaie
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Messages: 2451 , Offline
and this one is for those of us who went to catholic or any other religious school...

Here is the scene: The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Church elementary school for lunch.

At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and put it on the apple tray...

'Take only ONE. God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'  
aginka
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Messages: 37 , Offline
This is a blond, brunette and redhead joke.
I, myself, don't find these kinds of jokes offending but if you do please tell me so i can put a different one.

A blond, brunette and redhead were walking down the street when they see the Mirror of Truth. Whenever a person holding that mirror lies, they disappear.

So the redhead takes it and says, "I think I am the smartest human being." And POOF she disappears.

The brunette takes the mirror and says, "I think I am the most beautiful person alive." And POOF she disappears.

The blond takes the mirror and says, "I think......" and POOF she disappears.

 
idatroll
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Messages: 8 , Offline
my favorite knock-knock...

knock- knock

who's there?

interrupting cow

inter... MOOO!

 
jewelicious
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Messages: 161 , Offline
I may be setting myself up for some nasty replies, and I realise this isn't the forum to do this, or maybe it is, It seems to be the most appropriate, but; Isn't man bashing politically incorrect too. Bashing ones church isn't cool either. What about the blondes, brunettes and redheads. (I can speak for them for I have been all of them )I suppose I am guilty too for posting a joke that could offend all the bird and monkey lovers. I just don't know where the line should be drawn or if we are drawing too narrow of a line.  
lionesss24
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Messages: 290 , Offline

People were in their pews talking at church.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the entrance, trampling each
other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat
calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's
ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the old man and said, 'Don't you know who I am?'

The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'

Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.
'Nope, sure ain't' said the man.

'Don't you realize I can kill with a word?' asked Satan.

'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone.

'Did you know that I could cause you profound horrifying, AGONY for all
eternity?' persisted Satan.

'Yep,' was the calm reply.

'And you're still not afraid?' asked Satan.

'Nope,' said the old man.

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Well, why aren't you afraid of
me?'

The man calmly replied, 'Been married to your sister for 55 years.'
 

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at Sat, 10 Oct 2009 04:03

lionesss24
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Messages: 290 , Offline
I am blonde BORN blonde and can laugh with you......following is a good,funny, CLEAN joke LOL !


A Blonde goes to Bed Bath & Beyond to buy curtains.
She tells the clerk, 'I would like to buy a pair of
pink curtains.'

The clerk assures her that they have a large selection of
pink curtains. She shows her several patterns but the
blonde seems to be having a hard time choosing.

Finally, she selects a lovely pink floral print.

The clerk then asks what size curtains she needs.

The blonde promptly replies, 'Seventeen inches.'

'Seventeen inches?' asked the clerk. 'That
sounds very small. What room are they for?'

The blonde says, 'They aren't for a room. They
are for my new computer monitor.'

The surprised clerk replies, 'But Miss, computers do not need curtains!'

The blonde says, 'Hellllooooooooo....I've got Windoooooows !
 

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at Sat, 10 Oct 2009 03:58

salma8994
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Messages: 9 , Offline
man:docter,docter!!!

doctor:yes

man:im shrinking

doctor:well then your gonna have to be a little p-a-t-i-e-n-t  

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at Sat, 5 Jun 2010 16:56

justhank
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Messages: 188 , Offline
so ................. there was this ......... person ....i can't say if they were male or female, blonde, redhead, ..... can't say what nationality or ethnic origin either.....let's just say they weren't very bright. they walk by the river and see another person, very simular in brain capacity (or sense of humor). anyway.....he/she yells over ,"how do you get to the other side?"
the second person of generic traits looks up and down the river and yells back, "you are on the other side !"


you have to fill in the blanks yourself ...... sorry.

.............not justhank  

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at Thu, 8 Oct 2009 18:52

jewelicious
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Messages: 161 , Offline
Way to go hank! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You rock!  
emcall
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Messages: 352 , Offline
Justhank....you're back. Good one. lmbo  
justhank
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Messages: 188 , Offline
Jewel, em ... you are making me blush.

but where's your jokes? got to have a joke.

a woman rushes into her house one day andyells to her husband, "Sam, Pack your stuff. i just won the lottery!"
"Shall i pack for warm or cold weather?"
"Whatever, just so you're out of the house by noon"



not justhank  
SandChan
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Messages: 284 , Offline
I have some recipe/cooking jokes. Check'em out on my "I'm So Not A Cook" 12th floor.  
SandChan
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Messages: 284 , Offline
Just got another one right here at the hotel.

SandpiperT says, "I'm having mouse troubles. It freezes or jumps all over".
SandChan says "I would try cheese to get it to move when it freezes and a trap to keep it from jumping all over".
lol  
emcall
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Messages: 352 , Offline
ok, not justhank. Here's my joke. If you've already heard it, sorry. best I could come up with.

There's this girl walking along a river's edge. She's looking for a way to get across. Too steep to climb down, too deep to swim, and no bridge in sight.

She notices another girl on the other side. She yells across,

"How do you get to the other side?"

The other girl looks around, up and down the river bank, and yells back...

"You ARE on the other side!"

**thanku thanku thanku verymuch**
And don't give me any flack about it being a girl. It's a joke, folks, it's a joke. I'm a girl. Let's just say it was me and one of my friends.  
emcall
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Messages: 352 , Offline
Good one SandChan. You'll have to be the emcee at our first iWin comedy improv. You can come up with things on the fly, while the rest of us scrounge for material.  
emcall
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Messages: 352 , Offline
ok, here's my real joke. No stealing jokes this time.

This couple went to Jerusalem, on a tour of the holy lands. The wife's mother had always wanted to go, so they took her with them. While there, the wife got called back home, but convinced her husband and mother to stay and finish the trip. A few days after she left, the mother fell ill and died. The priest told the man he could bury her there for $150, or ship her back home for $5,000. The man told the priest he would definitely want her shipped back home.
When the priest heard this, he remarked on how nice it was that the son-in-law respected her so deeply that money was no object..
The guy looked up and said "Oh, no, that's not it. I just know that a while back, a guy was buried here, and three days later, he came back to life."
"I'm not willing to take that risk."  
emcall
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Messages: 352 , Offline
A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree, and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned, spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch. On landing at the bottom in a pile of soft, dead leaves, he shook himself off, walked back to the bottom of the tree, and with a sigh, started to climb.

About an hour later, he again reached the very high branch, walked to the end, turned, spread his little flippers, and flung himself off. Again, he landed on the bottom, shook himself off, went back to the bottom of the tree, sighed, and started climbing.

Watching these proceedings from the end of a nearby branch were two small birds. As the little turtle again began his slow ascent up the tree, Mummy bird turned to Daddy bird and said, "Don't you think it's time we told him he was adopted?"  
justhank
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Messages: 188 , Offline
Em, you can't steal my jokes ..... i give them away ....but you can't return them either.

three turtles go on a picnic. first one says he forgot the drinks. they argue about who should go back.
2nd one says "no way".
3rd one says "if i go , promise not to eat till i get back?"
they agree. he leaves.
three weeks later ......
the two turtles decide they have waited long enough and start eating.
the third turtle jumps out from behind a rock and says, "See ! that's why I didn't go !"



speaking of animals that carry their homes with them.......

a snail saves all his money and buys a race car. Paints a big "S" on it and enters a major race.
he struggles throughout the race to stay in contention. with one lap left in the race, he makes his move.
4th place, then 3rd position, and 2nd position. the crowd cheers him on ....then he over takes the leader for first position.
the announcer jumps to his feet in excitement and says, "LOOK AT THAT S CAR GO !"



................... not justhank  

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at Mon, 12 Oct 2009 15:18

ShayeraHol
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Messages: 343 , Offline
Q: What do you call a leprechaun with a sore throat?

A: A strep-rechaun. (groan)


Q: What do you call a parrot under an umbrella?

A: A 'polly'-unsaturate.

As my late Grandmother often said: "Back in the trunk!" lol  
SandChan
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Messages: 284 , Offline
emcall wrote:Good one SandChan. You'll have to be the emcee at our first iWin comedy improv. You can come up with things on the fly, while the rest of us scrounge for material.

Thanks Emcall luv to MC it'll give me a chance to tap into my innate childhood abilities to make up stories and tell outrageous lies.
So glad you started this topic and glad I found it. Luv coming here. I enjoy laughing.  

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at Mon, 19 Oct 2009 16:32

SandChan
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Messages: 284 , Offline
Zion21 wrote:
SandChan wrote:Just got another one right here at the hotel.

SandpiperT says, "I'm having mouse troubles. It freezes or jumps all over".
SandChan says "I would try cheese to get it to move when it freezes and a trap to keep it from jumping all over".
lol


Haha that is a good one even though its kind of cheesy.


You say cheesy? How about this one. The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Reading your comment reminded me of something my gram-ma use to say. "The cow is giving you a nice bucket of milk"(Haha that is a good one) "and just when you are about to thank him he knocks it over"(even though its kind of cheesy)  

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at Tue, 24 Jun 2014 06:12

emcall
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Messages: 352 , Offline
Hey SandChan. You are gr8 at this joke thing. Good one about the 2nd mouse getting the cheese. I had to read it a 2nd time b4 I got it. Having trouble getting my brain in gear today.
But I must bring one thing to your attention. HIM cows do not give milk. So HE can not knock the bucket over. Maybe SHE knocks over the bucket because she does not like to be called a bull.
Just my opinion.  
justhank
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Messages: 188 , Offline
speaking of cows................

why do cows wear cow bells ? ...............................cuz thier horns don't work !


what do you get if you cross 50 pigs with 50 deer ................. 100 sows and bucks ($100,000)



.....................not justhank  
steeleblue
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Messages: 98 , Offline
this is one of my favorites. It is on the edge of clean so i hope it qualifies?????
God created woman
with not 2 boobs but 3
found the third got in the way
and required surgery
woman stood before God
with the third one in her hand
said"god ,what do we do with this useless boob"

And God created "MAN"  
SandChan
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Messages: 284 , Offline
Ok I heard this one on TV but I changed it a little.
A man's son was born with just a head.(how they knew it was a boy head, I don't know)
anyway everyone in the small town knew about the boy because his dad took him every where he went.

Upon his 21st birthday dad decided to introduce his son to the ritual of drinking 21 alcoholic beverages to celebrate a 21st birthday.
He drove his son to a local bar. He ordered a drink and put it to his son's mouth and the son drank it. This went on and after a few drinks something amazing happened;

other parts of the boy's body began to form. The boy was delighted and everyone in the bar was amazed. Dad didn't understand what was happening but was happy to see his full grown son and continued ordering drinks. After the 21st drink dad told his son to go to the car while he paid the bill.
The son, having drank 21 drinks, staggered out the door and stumbled in front of an on-coming bus and was killed. The bartender looked out the window and said oh my gosh that is so sad he should've quit while he was ahead.  

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at Fri, 16 Oct 2009 23:15

lionesss24
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Messages: 290 , Offline
alrighty then...
a dark haired girl and a light haired girl are walking down the street the dark haired girl says ahh look a dead bird,the light haired girl looks up and says where where? ha ha ha..... ! : o)  
SandChan
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Messages: 284 , Offline
lionesss24 wrote: I am blonde BORN blonde and can laugh with you......
That being said, they say blondes have more fun, I say blondes are the funniest. She looks up
Here is one in your defense, I mean blondes defense.
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.  
justhank
[Avatar]
Messages: 188 , Offline
three guys at a bar.
1st guy says ,"I'll have a B &W"
to which the bartender says, Burbon and water , yes sir"
2nd guy says, "I'll have a W & W"
bartender says "Whiskey and Water, Yes sir"
3rd guy, trying to sound smart, says "I'll Have a 15"
the bartender says, "a 15?"
3rd guy says " yeah, seven and seven"



why isn't it a good idea to play poker in the jungle?...................
..................................cuz you have to watch out for the cheetahs.



why is 6 scared of 7 ? .............................because 7 8 9 and 10.



not justhank
 
SandChan
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Messages: 284 , Offline
Ok this one is kinda long but worth it I think. I ROFL. It's old too but I changed it some.

Baked Beans On Your Birthday
A man had a maddening passion for baked beans, but unfortunately they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to him.
He met a lady, fell in love and ask her to marry him. She was such a sweet and gentle lady, but she would never go for this carrying on of him constantly relieving himself. So he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up baked beans.

Some months later his car broke down and since he lived in the country he decided to walk home. He called his wife to tell her he would be a little late. She said fine because she was running late with dinner.
On his way he passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than he could stand. He still had a good way to walk, so he figured that he would walk off any ill effects by the time he reached home. So, he went in and before he knew it, he had consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home he pooted. And upon arriving home he felt reasonably sure he would control it. His wife was excited, and said "I have a surprise birthday dinner for you tonight." She blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the table and just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She made him promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned. She then went to answer the phone.

The baked beans hubby had consumed were still affecting him and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while his wife was out of the room he seized the opportunity, shifted his weight to one leg and let it go. It smelled like a fertilizer. He took his napkin and fanned the air vigorously. Then, he shifted to the other cheek and ripped off three more, which smelled like 3-day old cooked cabbage.

Keeping his ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, he went on like this for a few more minutes. When he heard his wife say good-bye, he fanned the air a few more times and smiled contentedly to himself. He was the picture of innocence when she returned.

She apologized for taking so long, and asked him if he peeked, and he assured her that he had not.
At this point, his wife removed the blindfold, and hubby was surprised!!

There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish him a
"Happy Birthday"!!!

Are you smiling??



 
SandChan
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Messages: 284 , Offline
RE: Baked Beans On Your Birthday
Did you think she had prepared Baked Beans for his birthday? That is what I thought.  
joanietreb
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Messages: 538 , Offline
SandChan wrote:RE: Baked Beans On Your Birthday
Did you think she had prepared Baked Beans for his birthday? That is what I thought.


Exactly, baked beans or at least cabbage, lol  
SandChan
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Messages: 284 , Offline
Hey you guys have you heard about voio83 and emom1st? Want a laugh check them out on this forum-Off Topic-"The I Am Man I Am Hotelians Fund" thread. These people are CR--AA--Z .  
goofyduck1
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Messages: 1391 , Offline
Three strings decide to try to go into a bar - the first string goes in and sits at the bar and asks for a whiskey. The bartendar said, sorry, we don't serve strings here. The string left, met his two friends and the second string says, let me give it a shot. So he goes in and sits and asks for a vodka tonic. The bartendar stares at him for a long time and says, I told your friend we don't serve strings. The second string leaves the bar and tells his friends he had no success either. The third string said let me try. He bends over, takes apart his ends and ruffles them all up, then bends over and loops himself into twist and goes into the bar. The bartender stares at him and says, Are you a String? The string replied - 'Frayed Knot.  
SandChan
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Messages: 284 , Offline
Speaking of Baked Beans...What can you make from baked beans and onions?
Tear gas.  
 
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