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worst Xmas present ever
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Dinismurf
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Messages: 909 , Offline
Since there's another thread about what we'd ideally like from Santa, I thought it might also be fun to remember the disastrous presents we've received (or given!) over the years. Of course, it's the thought that counts, but occasionally you have to wonder just what your nearest and dearest could have been thinking of.

I've had a few duff presents in my time, from a cassette tape my then boyfriend had been playing for weeks before he wrapped it and passed it on to me, to a furry hat apparently intended for an eraserhead-type mutant, which covered my head, face and a good part of my neck and shoulders too. (Was someone trying to tell me I'm big-headed?)

The worst one though was a gift set of after shave miniatures, from my former mother-in-law. (Apparently she was so taken with the pretty bottles that she didn't bother to read the label.) It wasn't just that the present was wildly inappropriate, but that for YEARS afterwards, she would tell everyone what an ungrateful daughter-in-law she had, as I'd been so unappreciative, and refused to even try them out.  
suan1
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Messages: 166 , Offline
When i was about nine my mom gave me under wear.so embarissing!
Hi suan, sent you a PM about editing this post...Dee, volunteer moderator
 

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at Mon, 13 Dec 2010 07:36

momaie
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Messages: 2476 , Offline
...we had an aunt that decided one year that we all needed mittens (with 11 of us, money was tight so presents were pretty basic...). So she gave us all matching knitted mittens...oversized, loosely knit, useless at keeping our hands anywhere near warm...but we all had to look happy to not hurt her feelings..which made her think she was on a roll so the next year, we got scarves - scratchy phentex-wool ones...yuck! and then socks in the same stuff and then sweaters with oversize necks and short sleeves and "cute" designs on them...for 5-year old maybe but quite a few of us were in our teens by then. She finally stopped by the time most of us were young adults...She was a very sweet aunt but gifts from her were always low on our favorites list...  

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at Mon, 13 Dec 2010 07:27

DexGypMom
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Messages: 2665 , Offline

The ritual every year before Christmas was racing home from school every day in October trying to beat my sister to the mailbox where the JC Penney catalog with the huge toy section was sitting. Being the oldest, I always won but we'd nearly tear the catalog apart trotting off to mom to show her what we wanted. Being passed the "Santa" years and understanding we couldn't have everything we wanted, we were careful about making sure mom and dad knew which two were our to-die-for selections. My friend's birthday had just gone by and she got a gorgeous turquoise manual typewriter with its own carrying case. (Now I was 11 and this was the late 60's). The typewriter was made just for kids but it did take a standard size piece of paper so my friend was able to hand in type written projects at school which was unheard of back then. So whether it was from jealousy or just wanting what my best friend had, I scanned through the tattered pages of the toy section looking for that typewriter. I found one similar and marched over to my mom with the exhibit doing the best dramatic I-got-to-have-this rendition. Well here it was Christmas Eve, the day our family opened presents. We finished dinner, quickly did the dishes (the only day our mom didn't have to drag us to the sink), and got dressed for the evenings festivities. Mom and dad started bringing presents down from the attic and put them around the tree. Scanning the boxes when they were done, I could not find a box the size of the typewriter. Did she forget, was it too expensive, was I really that bad between October to December? All these thoughts were rolling around in my head. My dad set up the movie camera, a yearly source of anxiety, and we were finally able to open presents. Being our first year without a Santa Claus, (my mom's cousin's friend would dress up as Santa and make the rounds to all the families), it was odd enough but neither my sister's or my got to have presents were among the mounds of ripped up wrapping paper. My parents' thoroughly enjoying our angst finally went upstairs and brought down my sister's Chatty Cathy and my typewriter. I couldn't believe my eyes. The typewriter presented to me was most likely a 1930's or 40's model of an Underwood manual typewriter. It was so heavy, I couldn't pick it up. The typewriter was black with all the guts exposed and a reel to reel black and red ribbon. The first thing out of my mouth was, "It's old fashioned?!" Because the movie was rolling, we had to "look" happy about our presents but it so burst my bubble of joyous anticipation, I wanted to cry. I don't think it took much to see the utter disappointment in my eyes. My sister got her pretty talking doll and I got a black monster from the dark ages.

I really don't know what my mother thinking when she bought that beast. The strength in an eleven year old's hands was no match for an adult's. I had to use the hunt and peck method of typing with only my pointing finger and the strength of my whole arm just to get the key to strike and actually leave an image on the paper. I don't think I used it more than 2 times. It was relegated to the attic not long afterwards with all the other unused junk of birthdays and Christmas' passed.

••• MaryBeth
 
notjusthank
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Messages: 169 , Offline
i once gave my girlfriend a white furry hat, i didn't bother to check what size it was. i didn't think furry hats came in sizes. besides i didn't think any hat would be "too big" for her enormous head. it probably had it's own gravitational attraction. However, the hat was way too big. in retrospect, her head is just the perfect size and really cute. yeah, i have to get something better this year.

as for me, one year my brothers and i decided to pull names since we each had children and thought it would be too expensive for every one to buy every one else a gift. well christmas morning we all meet at our mother's house. except of course the brother who pulled my name. he was at his in-laws house. i didn't have a present to open along with everyone else, not till later that evening. talk about awkward moment. my niece asked me if i wanted to help her open hers, but i couldn't keep the gift. i promised, but i kept it. ... no, i told her santa was bringing me something real big. i wonder, did she think i had been naughty , not nice?  
emcall
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Messages: 355 , Offline
It was a couple of days before Christmas. I was sitting on the sofa, minding my own business, when my hubby walked up to me with a giant smile on his face, and thrust a small box in my direction. He said "Here, Merry Christmas. It's whatcha wanted, isn't it!?!?" I looked to see what was in his hand. "Wow, he got the gold bracelet I've been wanting.", I thought. But the little box was not wrapped, and did not look like jewelry. Instead, what he gave me was a $4 nose hair trimmer from the drug store!!!!

I had told him a few weeks earlier that he needed to take care of his errant hairs. Somehow, his feeble, male mind took that to mean, "Gee honey, would you please, please, please get me a nose hair trimmer for Christmas!" I started crying, and threw it back at him. He stood there, perplexed, wondering what he had done wrong. Every time I saw those things in the bathroom, I threw them in the garbage, without a word. He would come in later, retrieve them, and never say a word. Those things lasted for months. He definitely got his $4 worth. But I think he would tell you, the cost to his wife's feelings, was not worth it. His muffins were pretty cold for a while, if you know what I mean.

And, no, I never did get my gold bracelet.

(But we're still married.. there's still hope.)  

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at Tue, 14 Dec 2010 13:01

joanietreb
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Messages: 540 , Offline
Thank you Em for the big guffaw. I gave a hint of your story last night to hubby, and since it is his birthday today-he gets to read it himself. So thank you for the gift of laughter. You are so generous.
Now, how can you help me out about Christmas gifts? His nose hairs are not an issue.....  
emcall
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Messages: 355 , Offline
joanietreb wrote:Thank you Em for the big guffaw. I gave a hint of your story last night to hubby, and since it is his birthday today-he gets to read it himself. So thank you for the gift of laughter. You are so generous.
Now, how can you help me out about Christmas gifts? His nose hairs are not an issue.....


Hey, jtreb. Always happy to oblige with a few chuckles. Will have to ponder your gift delimma. Expect a call from me within the weekend, and we can nail this thing down. haha

Now back to the topic at hand. Come on, folks. I know there are more crazy gift stories out there. Let's hear them. They may prevent (or inspire) another gift disaster this year.  
Dinismurf
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Messages: 909 , Offline
I'd rather have a man with bristle-free nostrils then the gold bracelet. (I know: I'm a cheap date.)

I agree it's not much of a present though... unless he thought you might want a part-time career as a nose barber!  

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at Wed, 15 Dec 2010 23:24

DiamondBeauty
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Messages: 53 , Offline
I can remember one Christmas where my mom opened up all her gifts and every one gave her perfume and bath items. So she looks up at all of us and says after she is done unwrapping do you think I stink or something because all you gave me was bath items so is that a hint? All us girls didn't realize that we all have the same idea's of what to give our mom. We all broke out into laughter and even my mom was laughing. We promised after that christmas we would try to think differently next time. I am not sure but some of us may have swapped gifts with mom so she wouldnt feel so bad. Sometimes some members in the family secretly did gift swapping. Gift swapping can be one way to avoid the refund line ups.

I can remember this girl I once worked with long ago, instead of having wrapped up gifts she gave to her family she got out her instant camera and took pictures of what she was going to get them for christmas. So it was like an i owe u present she was giving to her family. She put the pictures a card and she went out on boxing day to buy them rather then giving them ahead so she could save money. It's kind of like give like santa and save like scrooge. Well I guess that's another way to give Christmas presents. If you are ukrainian then you would most likely be lucky to get the best deals since ukrainians celebrate their Christmas on January 7th.  

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at Sun, 26 Dec 2010 13:55

Griddlebone
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Messages: 573 , Offline
I try not to bump old threads, but this one touched a nerve.

One Christmas I was home from college... it was grad school so I must have been in my mid-twenties. I had two largish presents under the tree, one from my mom and dad and one from my sister. There was a third small present from my brother - it was a Swiss Army knife and one of those spring plastic wrist key-holders. I'll just say that he knew me well and I loved his present.

I opened my sister's present first. It was a deep purple sweatshirt and sweatpants with 7 large lilac bows painted on the front of the sweatshirt. I tried to be appreciative, through my horror... I would look like a giant grape with bows accentuating what didn't need to be accentuated. My mother promptly said that if I didn't like her present she would get me something else. That was an odd thing to say until I unwrapped her present: a deep purple sweatshirt and sweatpants with large ribbon bows pinned all over the front of the sweatshirt.

I thanked everyone, donated the set with painted bows to charity, unpinned all the bows off the other set and wore purple sweats for the next year until they wore out. Still have the Swiss Army knife!

By the way, Mary Beth, you don't EVEN want to know what one of those old Underwoods goes for in the antique trade these days.  
DexGypMom
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Messages: 2665 , Offline

Now you have me curious. I believe that old dinosaur is still collecting dust in my mother's attic unless my sister pitched it while cleaning out her attic. Please do tell me, Griddlebone, what are the circa 1940 Underwoods fetching these days?

BTW, your big bows on a purple sweatshirt reminds me of a hideous coat my mom bought me for Christmas when I was around 28. It was what used to be called a carcoat with an oceanfront, sandy beach, baby blue skies, and white clouds in the background and the foreground was filled with 10" tall seagulls lined up toe to toe around the whole coat. Needless to say, it was another, "what were they thinking" moment, certainly not a Kodak one.

••• MaryBeth
 
Griddlebone
[Avatar]
Messages: 573 , Offline
Depending on condition, between $35 and $250.

I'm not sure if "a major online auction site" counts as a competitor to iWin, so I won't mention the name but you can do a search for "Underwood typewriter". If you're registered on said site, you can search for completed auctions.  
silky23
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Messages: 18 , Offline
the same housecoat I got the year before & I hated that one first. lol
 
 
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